The Best of the Worst: An Electric Chair Massager shortages
The world of massages is now filled with more exotic words and phrases than ever. The frequency with which we find ourselves on the brink of disaster, the number of times we have to cancel appointments, and the quality of the service we receive all indicate that this summer’s economic downturn has played a part in Massager shortages. This summer saw an unprecedented outbreak of massager shortages across much of Europe, Asia, and North America. The word “disruptive” doesn’t quite do it enough; this was a major disruption that affected every aspect of our lives. From hotels, hostels, bookstores, restaurants, beauty products companies, and even taxi companies, millions flocked to these tortured nerves to rid themselves of excess body heat. When you think of it like this, this summer’s Massager shortages are tantamount to Condo bombings in comparison. Here are some things you need to know about them:
There are more than 5 million massagers in the world.
This news shouldn’t be much of a surprise, given that massage parlors around the world now employ more than five million people. The total number of masseuses across the globe has more than doubled in the last decade, from about 260 million in 2005 to 438 million in 2020. As these numbers rise, so does the demand for massage. When people can’t get their masseuses, they turn to other forms of entertainment—an important task, since massage is a mainstay of much modern living. What’s less well-known is that the number of people who are now Marginalized as a result of sexual income has grown at an even greater pace in comparison with the increase in demand for massage.
The supply chain is broken, meaning you’ll have to wait longer for your massage.
Yes, this is the most important news of all. Many people will get their masseuses and be out the door in minutes. But those who aren’t yet “marginalized” are walking into a world of attrition. According to surveys, the average wait time for a massage is now 36 hours, versus 36 hours for those in positions of authority. What this means is that the average person will have to wait an average of about 36 hours for a massage in their lifetime, with some people waiting an average of 40 hours. This is about the same average time it will take for the population of Finland, which has the world’s highest average wait time for massage, to equalize its waiting times with those of other nations. While the supply chain for massage products has been broken for many years, it’s still possible to order a high-quality massage and be waiting less than 36 hours. This can be a good thing, as it means that demand has increased, which has helped lower the average wait time.
The demand for massages is higher than ever before.
We’ve all heard the rumors about how much sex there is in the world and how much of it is reported as “ching.” According to new research, Cinco- and six-way sex is on the rise. There are also reports that the average American woman wants Electric Chair Massager shortages to have sex at least three times a week, and that’s up from once every two and a half days in the past. These statistics suggest that the demand for massage is higher than ever, as well as that the average American woman is willing to accept a wait time for services.
Massage places are overwhelmed with customers.
In order for the message to be successful, it needs to be offered by many different vendors. As businesses get overwhelmed with the demand for services, they often close down or move locations. For example, if massage parlors in New York City received 100 clients per day, that’s about 3,000 people, which would make the average wait time for a massage in that market about 36 hours. That number doesn’t account for last-minute changes or weekend demand.
There’s only so much an electric chair can hold.
There are concerns that the death penalty will be carried forward in the event of a massager shortage, and this is a very valid concern. But this is also a major opportunity for those that want to keep operating as normal. Many states have laws that allow the death penalty to be brought back in cases of massager shortages. These laws are meant to prevent someone from having to die for their profession. If a state decided it wanted to bring back the death penalty in this situation, it would be chaos. It would be hard for the public to know what to think, as well as for the law enforcement and healthcare providers who often have to take the most elderly and low-income clients. It would be difficult to keep the doors open.
Closing a massage session can be a really nerve-wracking experience. You might have to ask a friend to escort you while you’re waiting for your massage to begin, or you might have to stand in line in the hopes of meeting someone you haven’t heard from in a while. There’s a lot to be nervous about, and a lot to be excited about. All in all, it’s a great time to be nervous about sex.